Ceremony Basics: How Should We Seat Guests At the Ceremony?

So the tradition is the bride's family sits on the left and the groom's on the right, but how to proceed with a same sex wedding?

Aside from the traditional seating arrangement, many gay couples share the same close friends, there's really no reason to adhere to the tradition of separating guests into two groups. If you do have a middle aisle, there's no reason you can't have the ushers address the couple by name, asking guests, "Are you with address the couple by name" (instead of, "Are you with the bride or groom?").

Also, consider the people you're going to enlist as ushers. A good rule of thumb is to have one usher per every 50 guests. Ask your attendants or a few close family members or friends who don't already have a role to act as ushers. Once you've chosen your ushers, provide them with guidelines or even printouts of where you would like guests to be seated, including a VIP list of family and friends who should sit near the front.

A couple of ceremony seating tips:

Reserve the first few rows for immediate and extended family (like aunts, uncles, cousins, and godparents) and other special guests (like the parents of a child attendant). Make it known that they're reserved by tying ribbons across those rows, or by using another special marker, such as flowers or name cards, to mark the seats.

Elderly guests should always be seated near the front.

Guests in wheelchairs or on crutches should sit at the end of a pew.

Have a plan for the kids. Ushers should seat families with small children near the ends of the aisles so parents have an easy escape route in case of a fussing little one.


Happy Wedding Planning!